~※ When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.※~
Be good to yourself..
So, for a while now, I have been paying attention to publications I thought were a waste of time; dating and relationship articles. For a long while, I never gave the pages more than a look-over because I did not need to be told how to date!! How can someone I have never met know the dynamics of my love life?
A few weeks ago, I came across a cliche article: How to get and keep a man (I did say cliche...)
But i read it anyway, and it was an eye opener!! The entire article did not talk on how to manipulate someone and attract them; on the contrary, it talked about IMPROVING the relationship you have with yourself, and loving yourself more. Not once was there a mention of being a tigress...or cougar...or whatever...
With time, I realized that these relationship-fixing articles actually advice you to fix the only one thing you can; your relationship with yourself.
This brings to mind the law of harvest:
※You SOW then you REAP, not the other way round. ※
You sow love to reap love.
You sow love to reap love.
Over the years, we have been through enough life experiences that have hardened us, and taught us to make perimeter walls around our hearts because we have been hurt. Everyone goes through betrayal of any form; from family, to friends, spouses and even colleagues. Then we encounter strangers who should be classified as wildlife....
All this is enough to create an iron heart in anyone. The problem is that, the iron heart grows spikes so sharp, that they pierce the vessel that houses them; your spirit.
And so I start my "relationship-fixing" article..
I always say that unless you allow yourself to be strong, you cannot be strong (learn to love yourself well). Prophesy strength in your life, and you will rise.
If you don't love yourself, it is hard to find someone who truly loves you. Many people are usually surprised that they found love the moment they stopped looking for love.
As much as we are encouraged to put ourselves out there, how do we do it?
Do we do it in such a way as merchandise are displayed on a window? Or do you exist as something someone would love to have, not to afford?
I believe that we should put ourselves out there - we are not stored herbs waiting to be cooked.
I also believe that when you put yourself out there, do it like you own your life. Join clubs that make you happy. Associate with people that you find valuable, not people you hope will find some use for you (as in, when you attend a function, go there to grow, not to land a sale or contract..or whatever else..).
Put yourself first, and your spirit will radiate charm and charisma. Charisma, as I found out is not in-born or created; it is ignited. Charismatic people charm others because they fully believe in themselves, and have a way of making other people also feel capable (and I am not referring to political charisma... that is Class-A PR).
If you don't love yourself, it is hard to find someone who truly loves you. Many people are usually surprised that they found love the moment they stopped looking for love.
As much as we are encouraged to put ourselves out there, how do we do it?
Do we do it in such a way as merchandise are displayed on a window? Or do you exist as something someone would love to have, not to afford?
I believe that we should put ourselves out there - we are not stored herbs waiting to be cooked.
I also believe that when you put yourself out there, do it like you own your life. Join clubs that make you happy. Associate with people that you find valuable, not people you hope will find some use for you (as in, when you attend a function, go there to grow, not to land a sale or contract..or whatever else..).
Put yourself first, and your spirit will radiate charm and charisma. Charisma, as I found out is not in-born or created; it is ignited. Charismatic people charm others because they fully believe in themselves, and have a way of making other people also feel capable (and I am not referring to political charisma... that is Class-A PR).
When you take charge of your happiness, you will not look for something or someone to do it. You will also not have any reason to have grudges because of our previous hurtful experiences.
Look at it this way; True- someone did hurt you; but, you also believed them and trusted them out of your own will.
- So, will you cordon off any other person that tries to come close to you?
- Or will you bear that grudge like a heavy sack of potatoes, ulcerating yourself?
- Or will you bear that grudge like a heavy sack of potatoes, ulcerating yourself?
Or will you look at yourself and congratulate yourself for being capable of trust, honesty and integrity even though someone else took advantage? - This is the outlook I chose.
★For one, I accepted that I was too trusting, meaning that I am trustworthy. It means that I can also trust myself to make healthy decisions, so in case something smells fishy, I can trust myself to get out of the rat-hole, without being connived to stay, or getting confused on whether its the right decision in the first place, or am I blowing things up... I will trust my foresight and insight and come to a decision that is good for my life.
★I can also trust myself not to let me down; if I encounter a challenge, chances of backing off due to fear of failure are greatly minimized; not because I cannot fail, but because I am sure that I am giving it my very best, and there will be no real loss. Either way, I took advantage of an opportunity to grow, and got something new out of it.
- Finally, you will reap what you have sown; a relationship with yourself. You will not judge yourself too harshly when you mess up, because you knew that you did it the best way you could.
★You have no reason to be ashamed of yourself or your choices, and you will not need material things to 'upgrade' your status. You will also not be ashamed of your family, spouse, colleagues or even your background.
★And so, you will not have a reason to run the race so that you can be on someone else's level, career wise, financially or even socially.
That, I believe is true freedom.
★The freedom to meet a new person, and not have a list of things I need to hide or change before they find them out, lest I shame myself because of who I am.
★The freedom to introduce this new person to my friends and family without worrying of what they will think...
★The freedom to have a good day without having to compete whose car is fastest, or whose sound system is loudest...
★The freedom to know that even if someone else doesn't like me or what I have, that is their own problem, and that their opinion of me will not pay my bills.
★And finally, the freedom to be yourself around the people you admire, the freedom to ask them questions without being ashamed that they will know you lack, and the freedom to learn from them without feeling like an under-dog, and not waiting for the chance to beat them in their own game...
※ That is true freedom. ※
You sow love for yourself; you reap a lifetime of freedom to enjoy love...
This is Serenity!!
Because Life is Beautiful...
Because Life is Beautiful...
Related articles:
※Love and faith
※The power of purpose
※Learn to let go
※Grief - exploring, dealing and coping
※Know your dog: The Golden Retriever
※Love and faith
※The power of purpose
※Learn to let go
※Grief - exploring, dealing and coping
※Know your dog: The Golden Retriever
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